Jerk
by tunavore
Summary: It's Christmas time, and the Ten-Year-Bazooka has been acting up. While Tsuna takes care of "his" child from another dimension, Hibari decides to follow. Teaser: "You're like an iPod touch - I just touch you once and you get turned on." 1827, oneshot!


**A/N: HEEEEEEEEY comm, guess who's back with a stupid TYL established relationship nonsensical one shot again LOL… I'm on break, and it's been raining for four days straight. |: Yeahh my mentality + rain = not a good outcome, LOL. So I was browsing about on Youtube, when I found a video called, 'Hibari's A Jerk XD'. . . and I proceeded to click it only to have the stupid song stuck in my head all throughout today ._. But then I thought, 'HEEY, IT KINDA SORT OF MAYBE WORKS FOR 1827!' and, well, this happened. orz I apologize for the OOC-ness and illogical themes throughout the whole story! m(_ _)m **

**Warning: KINKY HIBARI and REBELLIOUS TSUNA REPEATING THE WORD 'JERK'. You have been warned _; Not to mention, illogical mpreg up ahead! It's nothing gross though, I promise.**

**Enjoy another pointless story from yours truly! & HAPPY BELATED HOLIDAYS ;) **

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"You're a _jerk_ even on Christmas Eve, Hibari-san," Tsuna scoffed, increasing his pace as much as he could muster in pinstriped slacks. A sniffling bundle of clothes was soothingly cooed to before the Decimo snapped his irritated scotch gaze towards the slowly but surely stalking said …jerk. "And stop following me! You've already made him cry! I can't believe you'd even _think_ of doing such a thing in front of—"

"Don't be ridiculous, Tsunayoshi. It was the baby's fault for crawling in my path when I was about to discipline an herbivore." The Cloud Guardian easily kept up with the Sky's sped up gait, now smoothly walking beside the younger man before cornering him into a dead end.

For once, fearless amber met amused slate, tension stretching over the two before their Hibari broke their eye contact, glancing down the halls to make sure of no peeping toms before breathing out an exasperated sigh.

"Let me see him."

"No!"

"_Sawada Tsunayoshi_, show him to me or I will—"

"You'll what? Show violence in front of a mere child again? Go ahead, I dare you!—"

"_Uwaaaaahhhh…"_

Both adults went rigid at the tearful mewl that drawled out from the Sky's suit jacket, their gazes slowly peering down to the bundle held in Tsuna's arms cautiously. Both were met with teary, enormous chocolate brown eyes that were filled to the brim with fear at the couple's bickering.

Tsuna shot an accusing glare at the opposing man before him before clicking his tongue reassuringly and speaking in a soft, hushed tone.

"Oh, no, no, no, don't _cry_! Hibari-san and I aren't _fighting_; no no no – we're just … _debating!_"

Hibari raised a brow at the Decimo's lackluster of an explanation, but said Decimo only shot him a 'let's-see-if-you-can-do-any-better' look before continuing to calm the sniffling child in his arms.

_Their_ child, that is.

The small boy in Tsuna's arms had the herbivorous eyes, alright – big, innocent caramel eyes blinked away sleepy mirth as the child nuzzled his face into Tsuna's shoulder comfortably once he was reassured that the tension between Hibari and Tsuna had subsided. The boy even had the introvert-like personality. The only thing that resembled Hibari, grudgingly admittedly so, even by Tsuna, was his straight, thin hair that was growing out to be the same style as Hibari had ten years ago back in middle school, and the fact that the child preferred tonfas over fists as weapons – not that he could lift the tonfas.

How had such a miracle happened? The Ten-Year-Bazooka was at fault – it had been randomly exploding with no ammunition to suddenly cough up beings from different parallel dimensions – and this time, it had spit out this child that was definitely born from Tsuna – a _female_ Tsuna from a different parallel universe, that is —crying and bewildered at its suddenly new surroundings. At the sight of Tsuna, the child had made a mad dash for the man, clinging to the Decimo's leg while trembling in fright, mumbling, "Mama, Mama, I'm scared; where's Papa…?", and ever since, Tsuna from this dimension had been taking care of Hibari and "his" child.

Sighing in relief, Tsuna pat the child's back softly as he quietly beckoned his Cloud Guardian to his bedroom.

Locking the door with a soft _click_, Hibari joined Tsuna in bed as the younger man began softly humming a nursery rhyme while tucking in the tired child safely, gently brushing the child's bangs away while heaving a relieved sigh once Tsuna could no longer feel the kid's tiny hands clamping tight on his wrist.

"He's sleeping," Tsuna whispered, leaning back onto his Cloud's firm chest comfortably before gazing at said Guardian with a flat glare. "Jerk."

Hibari only rolled his eyes at his Sky's immaturity, wrapping an arm around the smaller man's waist with a ridiculed snort. "Enough, Tsunayoshi."

"… Jerk." Tsuna muttered childishly, sticking his tongue out in defiance.

There was a period of ominous silence that made the sleeping child stir uncomfortably, rolling to his side. Hibari's arm around Tsuna's waist slowly trailed downwards, thin fingers ghosting over exposed skin before his hand slipped underneath the Sky's dress shirt, snaking up to tease a hardening bud. Tsuna gasped at this, worrying his lower lip as he tried to distract himself in order to not cry out loud.

"Mmph—w-wait, Hibari-san… H-He'll wake up…!"

"Then you'll just have to be quiet, Herbivore."

They kissed their way to the floor, Tsuna pinned down by the former prefect as shirts were unbuttoned while tongues sloppily fought for dominance, Hibari using his tie to tie back his Sky's bony wrists. Tsuna retaliated by rolling his hips upwards to grind against his Cloud Guardian once smoothly, earning a surprised grunt out of the stoic man. Their once synchronized breathing became ragged and uneven, kisses muting the soft moans elicited from the Decimo.

"You're like an iPod touch," Hibari snarled under his breath, licking his lips slowly as he marveled Tsuna below him with an animalistic glint in his eyes. "I just touch you once and you get turned on." To prove his point, Hibari bit down on Tsuna's neck, and the younger man jolted in both surprise and lust.

Glaring, Tsuna slammed his body upwards against the ex-prefect while eyeing the sleeping boy on the bed warily for signs of consciousness. Hibari winced, before drawing the Sky's attention again when the raven haired man nipped at Tsuna's earlobe, causing the younger man to flinch and yelp in surprise.

Both adults froze when a faint groan from underneath the quilts of the Decimo's king size bed drawled out, signaling the awakening of their child. Gulping, panicked scotch met alarmed slate, before Tsuna attempted to push his Cloud off of him with his feet in order to attend their child before he began to cry and possibly awaken the whole mansion – but the former prefect would not comply.

Instead, the taller man pushed his hips down with force, an evil glint in his eyes as Tsuna began squirming about while yanking at the tie in dread.

"_Hibari-san_!" Tsuna hissed; sweat trickling down his temples, "If you do not get off of me this instant—!"

The prefect's expression radiated sadistic intentions, before the man actually smiled wholeheartedly at Tsuna. "Isn't it more fun this way, Herbivore?"

The Cloud Guardian then stood, buttoning two buttons of his shirt lazily before making sure the tie was tied tightly around his Sky's wrists before he strode to the bedside, smirking at Tsuna before Hibari climbed onto the bed, clicking his tongue and whispering soothingly in his baritone voice.

Panicked with thoughts of Hibari corrupting their child from another dimension, Tsuna flailed about, yanking while attempting to reach the bed with his feet, but to no avail. Surprisingly, the child's wails stopped, and Tsuna tried to stretch his neck to see what had happened – had the kid been traumatized by Hibari's vivid threats?

All Tsuna could see was the sleeping form of their child, cuddled to the ex-prefect, and the Decimo sighed in relief at this.

"You're a total _jerk_, Hibari-san," Tsuna muttered loud enough for the man to hear, and the brunet didn't have to look up to feel the Cloud Guardian's grin that seemed to say, '_I know._'

Hibari leaned down to kiss the sleeping boy's forehead before amusing himself with watching Tsuna struggling to get the tie off his wrists.

"Merry Christmas, Tsunayoshi."

**A/N: PWAHHH! How was it? XD Thanks for reading and don't forget to review! ' 3 ' Happy Holidays!  
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